Of Course the Patriots Would Sign Michael Floyd

In a move that should surprise no one, Michael Floyd was claimed off waivers by the Patriots after the Cardinals waived him in light of his recent arrest for (alleged) DUI. Here’s a quick, non-exhaustive list of players with off the field issues who have suited up for the Patriots under Belichick: Brandon Meriweather (shot a few guys, no surprise for a guy who went to Florida), LeGarrette Blount (Punching a guy, marijuana), Randy Moss (just watch Rand U), Aqib Talib (fighting random people, shooting at his sister’s boyfriend), and Aaron Hernandez (even before he started killing people). Oh, and let’s not forget Mr. Brady and his destroying of evidence (in a curiously similar fashion as Hernandez) and fathering children out of wedlock.

This was, of course, a move tailor made for the Patriots. It’s as if Bruce Arians made a three way deal with Belichick and Satan to send Michael Floyd their way. Floyd is a talented receiver who never reached his potential with Arizona, and now gets to go from a team with its season in the shitter to a Super Bowl ™ contender. The worst part is that the Patriots biggest need was a tall, non-white, athletic wide out. In all, the Patriots improve upon a weakness for the team’s playoff run after the guy gets a DUI. Ever had your cake and eat it too? Michael Floyd and the Patriots just did.

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